Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
