how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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