there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So much rum. So many feels.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize