He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
