So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
