so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
