i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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