so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize