omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Say something about gay babies.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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