doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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