Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
