He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
