i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
