I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
