My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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