i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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