areolas are like halos for boobs.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I could fuck to npr.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
