kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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