Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
