I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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