I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
