I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
