dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize