no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
