i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
