Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize