at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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