Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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