I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
