Kiss
Puke
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
