fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
