Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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