My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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