What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
