happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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