Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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