You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
