I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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