Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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