I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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