....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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