Apparently you make a good broom.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
