You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize