I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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