How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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