if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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