U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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