we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
