Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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