So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
