Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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