i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
