So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
