Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.