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Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
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