What did we do last night that was yellow?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
