Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho. http://tfl.nu/ftbg
  Replies (3) Good night (1306) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is evicking siegelnvs

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is fucking ridiculous*

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): This is evicking siegelnvs (443): Im sorry? (410): This is fucking ridiculous* http://tfl.nu/9l7k
  Replies (13) Good night (3882) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it http://tfl.nu/4nim
  Replies (39) Good night (779) Bad night (2670)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (12481) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash... http://tfl.nu/kodu
  Replies (10) Good night (892) Bad night (4743)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals http://tfl.nu/d194
  Replies (4) Good night (2529) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know http://tfl.nu/hfe3
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream," http://tfl.nu/rf9x
  Replies (8) Good night (3536) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie http://tfl.nu/qsvp
  Replies (6) Good night (1230) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience. http://tfl.nu/y98f
  Replies (1) Good night (808) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Explain the King Dong next to my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Explain the King Dong next to my face. http://tfl.nu/zscw
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/gz7f
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation. http://tfl.nu/yj08
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him. http://tfl.nu/55pw
  Replies (0) Good night (1488) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent? http://tfl.nu/den8
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (498)

Randomize