a bad idea.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister