just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day