Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
